In Case You've Forgotten

This is a blog about our adventures. We are Lauren and Chris. We do adventures and some other stuff when we get tired from our adventures. Our accomplices are Zoe, Shelby, and Claire, two dogs and a rat, respectively. They, too, participate in the having of adventures. It's a family affair. To understand what is meant by adventures, refer to the following list of major adventure-like activities from the past year:

1. Moab, Arches National Park, Canyonlands National Park - mountain biking, hiking, ill-fated backcountry camping, avoiding driving off cliff-height switchbacks in torrential rain...
2. Central America: Belize, Mexico, Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras - macaws, monkeys, bloodthirsty crabs, sharks, rays, barracudas, Ronnie the Worst/Best Guide Ever, seven significant ancient Mayan ruins, rain forests, rice and beans, near death at sea...
3. Grand Canyon National Park and Horseshoe Bend - Backcountry Permit = 19 Miles South Kaibab to Bright Angel to Indian Gardens to Awful Switchbacks Where People Clap As You Stagger, Unwashed, Under Your Pack
4. Zion National Park Part One - thirty-eight seconds in the park and then turned around to drive 25 hours straight to surprise Christopher's family for Christmas and the birth of the indescribably adorable Gabe...those thirty-eight seconds still count
5. Southern Illinois - frogs, snakes, Modern Family (strangely enough), more frogs, dirty bars, Shawnee National Forest
6. Zion National Park Part 2, Antelope Canyon, Horseshoe Bend, Bryce National Park - Subway Permit = 9 Miles Bouldering/Clawing/Slipping/Climbing/Creek Crossing/Frozen Feet/CLIMBING, Antelope Canyon = Disneyland Made of Sand, hoodoos, voodoo (not really), doggies, driving driving driving, Arizona sun

This is a typical school year for us. These are what we call the "big trips". This list, while comprehensive in theory, does not, in practice, include the countless hours we have spent frequenting the BLM land and wilderness areas of Wyoming and Utah. That list would be longer than you are tall. I say you because I am too short for making an accurate measurement. For quick Wyoming recommendations (read - for those of you who believe Wyoming to be a red-state wasteland), you should go to Lander, Pinedale, and Jackson.

And for those of you still reeling over me calling our work time a "school year" - We are not twelve. We teach. It's the same thing as being twelve, only you get a paycheck.

Now, you're really here to find out where we are during the upcoming summer months, likely to answer the question of whether or not we are "still alive", something that is, strangely, constantly under scrutiny. Let's dive on in, shall we?

                                                 What You Really Want to Know
                                                             The Long Form

We are leaving. This is a commonplace statement in our household. We are always leaving. It is rare to find a non-work-designated time during which we have elected to not be leaving for somewhere else. We're movers. I would say "wanderers", but we don't wear our pants too tight and ride fixies (yet), so we will have to settle for comparisons with men that wear jumpsuits and pay attention to the word "fragile", if you're lucky.
We are leaving and this time we aren't coming back for a long(er) time. I like to think that we're slowly building ourselves up for the day when we are simply in a constant state of leaving, always on the go to some new, exotic location where sand will become embedded in all of our belongings and stray dogs will be a welcome dinner guest. Wishful thinking.
It has been our experience that our rambling has a rather onerous side effect, one that we, in our infinite ADHD wisdom, cannot understand - our families worry about our whereabouts and general safety. We are not given to making timely phone calls, particularly when we do not happen to be on the continent or in a location that has ever been a party to the expansion of modern technologies. Unfortunately for people that live in the real world, our inaccessibility is frequent and it is about to become essentially permanent. We are leaving for Europe on June 9th and coming back some time in late August, though the exact date is fuzzy and neither Chris nor I care to burden ourselves with an approaching deadline at this moment.
Europe does not mark our most adventuresome trip by any stretch of the imagination. We do, however, have the propensity to take the most commonplace of tours and make them downright unbelievable, so you can expect that we will not be approaching Europe in a typical, clean manner. Clearly, we are going to be busy. Hence the importance of this blog. We are not calling you. I am not calling you. Chris is not calling you. We are not calling anybody. We love you very much. It's just not going to happen. You've known us for about a quarter of a century. This should not be a surprise.
We will be writing this blog, though. If you are hoping to find us, here we are. If you are hoping to find a romantic blog about the idyllic French countryside from the perspective of a lovely WASP on sabbatical from Brynn Mawr...I apologize for my sarcastic undercurrents and might I suggest refining your Google search terms.
Also, when I say we, I mean Lauren. I mean, I mean me. Lauren is me. Chris does not do the writing. He will simply attract your attention with his absolutely astounding photography and I will bother you with my witticisms with all the subtlety of a mosquito screeching in your ear.
You're going to be so glad when this journey is over.



To recap -

                                                                    What You Really Want to Know
                                                                               The Short Form

Europe. 75 Days. June 9th to August Something. Backpacks. Grunge. Unusual Adventures. Perfect Pictures. Less Than Necessary Writing.

This is why you're here.

P.S. Remember when we went to Central America for two months and it was epic? Multiply the countries by 3 (or something) and you will have an idea of what we are about to undertake. For more information than an arbitrary number, press 9 now...or come back and see what I have to say about our itinerary.




P.P.S If you're just joining us because you accidentally found us and cannot escape, here is the family in pictures -

Lauren (Yes, I am pleasant.)

Chris (Also pleasant.)

Zoe (Mini Aussie/Bunny)

Shelby (Border Collie/Cattle Dog/Russian Beggar Woman)

Claire (The only normal one in this house.)

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